I am proudly autistic, asexual, and kinky.

I actually had one of my all-time favorite play scenes at the second TNG happy hour that I attended at The Spot in late February. My friend Hope had come with me to that particular happy hour, and after the educational session, we did a scene in the designated play area. First she tied a rope harness around my chest and over my shoulders. Then she did a two-column tie around my wrists, securing my hands behind my back. Then she added additional rope around my elbows. Suffice to say, I wasn’t getting out of that. After I was all tied up, Hope got the ballgag out of my bag, put the ball in my mouth, and secured the strap behind my head, gagging me.

The ballgag, by the way, was a new feeling for me. True, I had tried on a ballgag before, but never before had I been really, truly gagged. I mentioned a while ago that the person who is tape gagged is really only gagged by choice. After all, if you open your mouth, that’s the end of the gag. Every time prior to this, when a gag was involved, it had been with duct tape. This time, it was something secured in my mouth with a buckle, and my hands were securely tied behind my back. That gag was staying there until someone else removed it for me – definitely a new feeling. I liked that feeling, but it was a new feeling.

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One of the events I’ve attended a few times in the roughly four months I’ve been in the scene is the DC TNG happy hour. In researching the group, I learned that TNG stands for “The Next Generation”, and is aimed at kinksters from age 18 to approximately 35. At age 30, I’m one of the older folks in the crowd, though definitely not the oldest by any means. I checked with the group on FetLife about whether or not I would come off as too old, and was told that I would be just fine. Excellent!

DC TNG’s happy hours are held on Tuesday evenings at The Spot, which is a small lounge in the basement of 1214 18th Street NW, sharing a building with Public Bar DC (see reviews from DC Socialite and DC CIty Blog). The venue is down a flight of stairs, and has a small bar. To my knowledge, the venue does not sell food (but Shake Shack is next door).

The event is kind of a cross between a munch, an educational session, and a play party. Dress is listed as “street legal”, and from what I can tell, most people don’t dress in any way specifically for this event. I wear whatever I wore to work that day, and from what I have been able to tell, most others also wear whatever they wore to work (i.e. dress is pretty much vanilla). Nudity is not permitted. Conversation, like at a munch, runs from the kinky to what-happened-at-work-today to whatever over drinks from the bar. About midway through the event, there is usually an educational session. That occurs in the back of the venue. One particularly interesting session was an introduction to knife play, where we learned about the basics of knife play, such as how to clean/sanitize knives, how to get to know and become comfortable with a knife before playing with it, a good beginner’s knife, etc. Then there is also a light play element, as people are allowed to engage in kinky play (as long as everyone stays covered) in the back of the venue (see photo). Not bad.

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The Wednesday after Dungeon 101, I went to a restaurant in Rockville, Maryland for my first munch.

For those not familiar, a munch is a social gathering in a restaurant or bar or something similar where people go to eat and socialize. If it sounds like something that vanilla (i.e. non-kinky) groups do, it is. People dress in vanilla clothing, many wearing the same clothes that they wore to work. The only way that you would know that the group is kinky is by getting into the conversation. And even that is not necessarily kinky. We talk about anything.

I got to the munch fashionably late. Some folks remembered me from having attended Dungeon 101 the Friday before, and welcomed me in. I found a spot at a table with a group of folks, and introduced myself. When I introduce myself at scene events, I usually give my real first name and my FetLife handle. The others at the table did likewise.

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After attending Gateway with Black Rose the night before and getting all of the various information that I needed from the Black Rose folks, my plan was to attend Dungeon 101 at The Crucible, a BDSM and swingers’ club in the NoMa neighborhood in Washington DC, on the night of January 6, 2012.

However, before I could go, I needed to make some preparations.  First, I needed to assemble some sort of toy bag.  For this, I made a very early morning run out to a Home Depot store near me, and bought fifty feet of rope.  Getting home, I cut it into three fifteen-foot lengths and one five-foot length, and then sealed the ends with a lighter.  My rationale for cutting it that way was to have just enough rope to make a decent hogtie, assuming the use of one fifteen-foot length each for wrists, ankles, and knees, and then using the five-foot piece to attach ankles to wrists.  This went into a backpack.  Then also I threw in a ballgag that I had bought some months earlier.  Since I was going to Dungeon 101 right from work, I added a change of clothes to the bag.  The folks at Black Rose had recommended wearing something comfortable, and so I threw in a pair of pajama pants, a comfortable and somewhat loose fitting shirt, and a pair of Crocs.

With my toy bag assembled, containing all the supplies that I thought I might need for a BDSM night, I took that and the bag I always take with me to work on the Metro, and went to work like I always do.  At work, I was again feeling that weird feeling in my stomach that I had felt before Gateway.  However, unlike before Gateway, where I only got that nervous feeling in the late afternoon, I had that feeling all day, and seemed noticeably preoccupied about something.  I thought going out to lunch with my coworkers would calm me down and distract me, but it didn’t help.  I was so nervous that I could hardly eat, and was seriously concerned that said lunch would not stay down on account of nervousness.

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