Back at the beginning of September, Jennifer, my feminine persona, made her debut at a private play party.  As Jennifer, I wore a navy blue sheath dress from Old Navy, along with the other effects that turn me into Jennifer, i.e. rice boobs, zentai, and wig.  Unfortunately, however, since I was still recovering from a broken bone in my foot about a month prior, I couldn’t wear proper footwear.  Therefore, rather than wear Jennifer’s shoes, I had to go with a pair of Crocs, since Jennifer’s shoes were too painful to wear with the injury still actively healing.  But hey, at least I didn’t have to wear a boot anymore.

Going out as Jennifer for the first time was kind of “eh”.  I knew the people that I was with, but I hadn’t been able to completely drop my inhibitions and relax.  I felt uptight, not quite knowing how to behave as Jennifer.  I mostly stood back and watched from the sidelines as others did their thing.  I think the biggest thing was becoming comfortable in Jennifer’s skin, and I suppose this first time was as good of a start as any.  However, I have a long way to go before I am really comfortable as Jennifer around others.  Becoming Jennifer at home is one thing, since I live by myself, and I’m just walking around the house feeling the fabric against my skin, and trying to walk convincingly in heels.  Being Jennifer in front of others is an entirely different matter.

I think that my problem with being unable to lower my inhibitions was lack of a wingman (or “wingperson”, if you will).  I was basically doing Jennifer all by myself at this party, as the only other person who knew about Jennifer prior to my emerging as her was the host of the party, and he, understandably, had many other things to attend to.  My being Jennifer on my own left me a bit nervous, and it showed.  Next time I go out as Jennifer, I’m going to see about getting someone to go with me to be my wingman, i.e. to be with me and distract me enough to where I can just be Jennifer without thinking too much about how to be Jennifer.  And as with anything, the more you think about it, the harder it gets.  I need to be more distracted.

There is a big advantage to being Jennifer as opposed to myself, and that’s during impact play.  I have a love-hate relationship with impact play.  I love the deeper sensations of impact.  The deeper that you can make the impacts felt, the better.  In other words, I like thud.  I don’t like the stinging surface sensations all that much.  If you want to see me safeword out of a scene, make too much sting with your blows.  That’s not a fun feeling as far as I’m concerned.  I love the impact, but I hate the pain that goes with it.  As Jennifer, I was wearing a bra and a dress.  When someone offered to flog me, I accepted, and quickly found out, while leaning against the flogging cross, that the stinging sensations that I didn’t like were sufficiently muffled, and I got a nice, thuddy flogging.

In any case, I see a lot of future potential for Jennifer.  And that’s a good thing, because I like being Jennifer.

Meanwhile, photos of Jennifer are still in the works.  I’m going with a friend to an outdoor location, and we’re going to take some quality photos up there.  They should look pretty good in the end.  And don’t worry – my foot is back together again, so Jennifer will be in her own shoes.