I am proudly autistic, asexual, and kinky.

I’ve done enough scenes by now to know how I’m going to respond to things.  I know that I don’t like having the bottoms of my feet played with (too sensitive).  I know that I don’t like being struck on the backside too many times in a row because it becomes too intense too quickly.  Same goes for other stinging impact play.  Hit the same place too many times, and I’ll end up calling a “yellow” on that in relatively short order.  Moving all around and giving each target a time to rebound before the next strike is okay, but not the same spot multiple times.  I know that I really like thuddy impact play, since it’s felt on a much deeper level.  And I have an idea about positions that I shouldn’t get myself into.

But when it comes to aftercare, I can usually get right up from a scene and be good to go.  Untie me and I need minimal assistance.  Maybe I’ll admire the rope marks for a few minutes, but otherwise, I’m good to go, though I admit that BDSM is somewhat physically draining for me (though I sleep quite well afterwards).  My needing an actual aftercare period to come back down and recover is highly unusual.  But a scene that I recently did with a friend was one of those scenes.

My friend and I were at a private house party in northern Virginia.  The home had a fully outfitted dungeon in the basement, and there were several scenes going on in the space.  These sorts of basement dungeons, besides having great BDSM furniture, usually have a number of implements around for use.  Among other things, like paddles, canes, floggers, etc., there was a double roller, consisting of a wooden stick with two spiked rubber balls on the end of it:

Consider it a bigger version of the Wartenberg pinwheel, two of which I recently acquired via Amazon:

Both have a nice feel to them, and are very effective when used in tandem.  Compare them to floggers, in that the Wartenberg pinwheels are “stingy”, and the roller is “thuddy”.  The Wartenberg pinwheels are very sharp, specific, and are felt on the surface, while the roller is less sharp but can be felt more deeply.

For this scene, after I stripped down to my birthday suit, we put cuffs that were part of a hogtie set that I bought on Amazon last year on my ankles and wrists, and then I laid face up on a leather BDSM swing.  Then the cuffs were attached to the four chains that secured the swing to the ceiling.  So basically, I was laying on my back on a giant swing, with arms and legs secured up in the air.  I was also blindfolded, as is my usual preference when I am the bottom in a scene, since I don’t like to be able to see what’s coming.  However, I had no gag this time, just because I didn’t feel like it.

The scene started out well enough, though I initially found it a bit difficult to handle as the Wartenberg pinwheels, the roller, and a few of my regular implements were used on various parts of me, because I was not quite in my “zone” and still in the same room as everyone else.  But then all of a sudden, I just clicked over.  I became very still, with head back and mouth wide open.  And behind the blindfold, my eyes had rolled back.  And I was barely able to speak.  The hell with a gag – my body had temporarily deprived me of the ability to speak coherently.  A red rubber ball wouldn’t have made a lick of difference.  I was lying so still, in fact, that my friend had to periodically check on me to make sure that I hadn’t passed out on him.

Despite that physically, I was in a leather swing, mentally, I was off in happy land somewhere.  I could feel the Wartenberg pinwheels’ being used on me, I could feel the roller’s being used on me, I could feel the back end of a butter knife being used around my anus (and that felt amazing – never realized that I was into that), and I could feel whatever else was being used on me, but I was so flooded with endorphins that it was all secondary to the envelope that my consciousness had now entered.  I had to have my limbs released about midway through due to numbness (feeling came back immediately after release – no nerve damage), but otherwise, that scene was going for over an hour, maybe even two hours.  And that’s the funny thing about when you enter that space.  I couldn’t tell you how long the scene went for.  I knew it was longer than a few minutes, but I was so far off in my own world that my perception of time was completely distorted.  I was more surprised than anyone to find out afterward that the scene went on for well over an hour.  If I were to guess, I would have said 20-30 minutes, tops.  That it went on for that long just blew me completely away.

After the scene was over, I was in no condition to do much of anything.  I remembered that there was a mattress to the right of the swing, and got assistance going over there, where I laid, face down, still blindfolded and wearing the cuffs for a period of time.  At some point, a woman told me that they were setting a bottle of water down next to me, and my friend also periodically checked on me to make sure that I was okay.  I couldn’t tell you how long I was lying there as the endorphins gradually dissipated and I came down out of my envelope and back into the world that everyone else was in.  When I had finally fully returned, I undid the blindfold, sat up, and removed the cuffs.  Then, remembering the bottle of water, I drank up.

Having had the water, I had at last fully recovered, and could stand up, get dressed again, and so on, and could go about being a responsible BDSM practitioner, returning everything to the state that I had initially found it, i.e. wiping down the swing, wiping down the roller (which belonged to the house) and putting it back, and wiping down and putting away all of my various implements.  What an amazing scene.  That will be hard to top.

The biggest surprise of the night came at the end of the evening when I asked the host of the party about where they had gotten the roller, so that I could get a similar one for my own use.  They were not sure where it had come from.  Then, much to my surprise, they told me that I could have it.  I never would have expected that, but I was greatly appreciative of it, since that roller was so much fun.  I still don’t quite know what the term for it is (and if you know, please leave a comment), bit I will definitely have a lot of fun with it in the future.