Getting up the nerve to finally enter the scene…
- March 25th, 2012
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Sometimes the hardest part of a journey is taking the first step. This was the case for my first foray into the public BDSM scene.
In my previous post, you may recall that I discussed how I had known that I was kinky for practically my entire life, and that I had known about Washington DC-based Black Rose for several years, but had taken no action towards getting involved with that group. Once my friend told me back in September 2011 that she was kinky, and was involved in her own local scene, it made me start to wonder why I wasn’t involved myself. After all, if she can do it, why can’t I? I looked at Black Rose’s site again a few times over the next few months, and in late December, determined that their next orientation, or as they call it, “Gateway”, was on January 5, 2012 in a conference room at the Phoenix Park Hotel near Union Station in DC.
I had been debating in my mind for about a week prior to the January Gateway about whether or not I should go. Ultimately, I decided to just take the plunge and go. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? It might be a great thing, or it might turn out to be completely lame, but you don’t know for sure until you go and find out.
As with other vanilla special events that I’ve been to, my body knew that Black Rose’s Gateway was something special. My stomach was doing flipturns at the office, as the anticipation was causing me some physical ailments. I knew that this was something I really needed to do for myself, and I would regret it if I didn’t go (and would have to wait a month for another opportunity), but my stomach felt worse and worse as the day went on. I did my best to ignore it, as I knew it was just nervousness from anticipation and that once I got there, I would be fine, but it was becoming difficult to ignore in the meantime.