Nothing like when a scene leaves you annoyed at the end of it…

If there is such a thing as a bad night at the dungeon, this one was it.  I was mistreated in my scene, and then treated as a fifth wheel outside of that.  It’s definitely caused me to reevaluate how I view D/s and my own role within it.

Recently, my regular play partner became involved in a relationship with someone whom she called her “Sir”.  Since she became involved with this person, our play scenes had become more dominant/submissive with the inequality that comes with that designation, rather than filling the top or bottom role between equals.  I was being ordered around more in our scenes.  Pre-scene negotiations became almost nonexistent.  “Give me your hands,” was usually the extent of it, and if I attempted to negotiate a scene, I was told that it wasn’t my place as the sub.  If I tried to explain mid-scene that something wasn’t working for me or getting too intense, then I was told, in an annoyed sort of way, that I was “topping from the bottom”.  And she would refuse to gag me, which, as I mentioned before, I need in order to get to subspace.  And if I’m making noise, gag or not, I’m not there.  I’ve noticed that when I’ve reached subspace, I stop making any sound.  I stop talking (or “mmphing”, as the case may be), I don’t giggle, and I don’t make happy sounds.  I just go silent.

So last Friday, I got together with my play partner for our usual dungeon night routine: dinner somewhere and then off to DCDungeon.  I knew that her “Sir” would be coming along, and that was fine, because I was interested in meeting him.  He seemed like a nice enough guy at dinner.  We talked about whatever, and then when dinner was done, we headed over to DCDungeon.  At DCDungeon, after my play partner and I showed her “Sir” around the place (it was his first time), it was time for a scene.  As I had understood it going into this, we were going to be beaten together.  That’s not how it happened.  First she was flogged by “Sir”, and then when he was done, she was going to do similarly to me.

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A strange, stormy night at the dungeon…

Friday night at DCDungeon was definitely an odd one.  DCDungeon was having an open play night as planned, and nature was planning to send a derecho through the Washington DC area.

The night started out normally enough.  Hope and I went over to DCDungeon for open play, paid our admission, said hello, and got started.  Today, Hope was trying something out on me that she had recently learned at a fetish event.  For this, I stripped down to my shorts (the shorts I was wearing when I entered – not boxer shorts) was given a rope harness around my chest, and then my hands were tied behind me with rope handcuffs.  No rope around the legs, no blindfold, and no gag.  However, I was told to be quiet, or else the play would end – mental bondage.  Then I was told to bend over the padded massage table, which I did.  So I was bent over, with my chest and stomach on the top of the table, feet on the ground, head over the back side of the table, and my behind in the air.  I was ready to go.

Hope certainly went to town on me, for sure.  She used various implements on my backside, emphasizing how it hurts more and more as you strike the same spot over and over again.  Then another person came in and allowed Hope to use his bamboo cane.  I had never been caned before.  I was about to be.  The strikes were fairly light, but with enough of them in quick succession, I really started to feel it.  But according to Hope, it wasn’t as fun doing the caning through clothes since she couldn’t see marks.  So that was the end of my shorts.  Hope undid my belt, and removed my shorts.  She also removed my underwear, dropping both to the floor around my ankles.  I stepped out of them the rest of the way and then pushed them to the side with my feet, somewhat to Hope’s annoyance.

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Reminding myself of the “safe” part of “safe, sane, consensual”…

When I was up at DCDungeon about a week and a half ago, I finally got to play on the Catherine wheel that’s there.  For those not familiar with DCDungeon, on the back wall of Studio C is a large wooden wheel that rotates.  It can be rotated by machine or manually.  It has handholds at the top, leather cuffs at the bottom, and can be used for inversion play, among other things.

This is what the wheel looks like:

Illustration of the Catherine wheel at DCDungeon

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The feeling of anticipation…

So Friday night was fun!  Hope and I went up to Baltimore to go to open play night at the Baltimore Play House.  That is a very different beast compared to DCDungeon, that’s for sure.  While DCDungeon is most definitely an office building in its character, the Play House has a certain charm to it.  My understanding is that the Play House has been around since the mid 1990s, and then I believe that the building is much older than that.  It has an attached parking garage, and the atmosphere was very friendly.  Hope and I did two scenes while at the Play House.

The first scene involved bondage, sensation play, impact play, and some very light knife play.  First, however, we needed to get a few things set up.  The Play House has a rig with a lot of heavy cabling on it that can be paid out as needed, and we needed to pay out some of the cables to accommodate our scene (you’ll see).  Once we got the cables at the right length, we got all the equipment ready.  I had bought two ballgags online recently, and was going to be gagged with one of them.  One is a conventional ballgag, and the other is a trainer ballgag that I got at an amazing discount.  I wanted to be gagged with the trainer, but unfortunately, I had forgotten one of the parts for it.  Thus I would be gagged conventionally.  We were also going to take a blindfold that I had bought online out for a spin for the first time.

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The language of things…

People could (and do) write volumes on language and terminology, and on how we use language to define ourselves.  In my four months in the scene, I have thought about what words get used in places quite a bit.

One thing I’ve always found interesting about content of a sexual nature is the use of “naughty words” over plainer language.  For instance, the rear end is usually referred to as “ass”, and not as “behind”, “backside”, or even “butt”.  Likewise, I’ve noticed that the penis is usually referred to as “cock”.  I’ve always found it interesting, mostly because I find such terms to be uncouth, even when used sexually.  Maybe it’s just me. I wonder if others feel similarly about the use of “foul language” as the normal term.  However, the use of foul language is more just a pet peeve of mine than anything else.  I’m not fond of it, but whatever. If it makes people tick, then more power to them, I suppose.

The terms that I think about most are the terms “dominant”, “submissive”, “top”, and “bottom”.  That thinking usually centers around how I identify myself in that concept set as I learn more about my own style and behaviors in scene settings.  Going in back in January, I thought that dominant = top and top = dominant, and likewise I thought that submissive = bottom and bottom = submissive.  In other words, I thought that the terms were exactly equivalent.  Now I know that the terms are not necessarily the same.

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My first time on top, and then a “stingy” flogging…

Sometimes you never know how things are going to work out.  On a visit to DCDungeon in late March, Hope and I took turns at being the top and the bottom across two scenes.

Prior to the first scene, Hope and I wandered around the Studio C room a little bit, and checked out various corners and such to see what was there that we could get into trouble with.  While we didn’t use most of what we found for various reasons, we did find a whole lot of plastic wrap.  We also found the nitrile gloves.  I believe that the gloves are normally used as barriers during penetrative play, but we each put a pair of gloves on just on account of being goofy.  Hope had two black gloves on, and I had a black glove and a blue glove.  There was absolutely no reason for us to have gloves on for what we were doing, but we wanted to try them out, and so we did (just go with it).

The first scene had me as the top and Hope as the bottom.  She wanted to be something of a mermaid, as some of the plastic wrap that we had found was green.  So first thing’s first, and I tied Hope’s ankles together with rope to make a simple two-column tie.  I also did her knees in a similar way.  I also attached a second rope to the original tie on her ankles, in order to facilitate lifting her legs up for the plastic wrap (easier to pull a rope up than to push from below).  Then out came the plastic wrap.  First I used a small roll of clear wrap to serve as something of a base.  Then the green wrap came out, and I expended the green wrap on her legs – to make her a proper mermaid.  Then I took the third roll of plastic wrap that we found and really went to town.  This was a big roll of industrial-size wrap, and I finished the package of her legs quite well.  Protip: start from the largest areas that will be wrapped and work down from there.  It’s much more difficult when you do it the other way and have to work “uphill”, because the wrap resists going from smaller to larger areas and will try to go back down.

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Spoon update!

You may remember in my pervertables post that I bought a large wooden spoon, suitable for a spanking scene or two, at a thrift store:

The large wooden spoon, as it appeared when I originally bought it Read more

Play at DC TNG…

I actually had one of my all-time favorite play scenes at the second TNG happy hour that I attended at The Spot in late February. My friend Hope had come with me to that particular happy hour, and after the educational session, we did a scene in the designated play area. First she tied a rope harness around my chest and over my shoulders. Then she did a two-column tie around my wrists, securing my hands behind my back. Then she added additional rope around my elbows. Suffice to say, I wasn’t getting out of that. After I was all tied up, Hope got the ballgag out of my bag, put the ball in my mouth, and secured the strap behind my head, gagging me.

The ballgag, by the way, was a new feeling for me. True, I had tried on a ballgag before, but never before had I been really, truly gagged. I mentioned a while ago that the person who is tape gagged is really only gagged by choice. After all, if you open your mouth, that’s the end of the gag. Every time prior to this, when a gag was involved, it had been with duct tape. This time, it was something secured in my mouth with a buckle, and my hands were securely tied behind my back. That gag was staying there until someone else removed it for me – definitely a new feeling. I liked that feeling, but it was a new feeling.

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DC TNG: A little bit of everything in one “Spot”

One of the events I’ve attended a few times in the roughly four months I’ve been in the scene is the DC TNG happy hour. In researching the group, I learned that TNG stands for “The Next Generation”, and is aimed at kinksters from age 18 to approximately 35. At age 30, I’m one of the older folks in the crowd, though definitely not the oldest by any means. I checked with the group on FetLife about whether or not I would come off as too old, and was told that I would be just fine. Excellent!

DC TNG’s happy hours are held on Tuesday evenings at The Spot, which is a small lounge in the basement of 1214 18th Street NW, sharing a building with Public Bar DC (see reviews from DC Socialite and DC CIty Blog). The venue is down a flight of stairs, and has a small bar. To my knowledge, the venue does not sell food (but Shake Shack is next door).

The event is kind of a cross between a munch, an educational session, and a play party. Dress is listed as “street legal”, and from what I can tell, most people don’t dress in any way specifically for this event. I wear whatever I wore to work that day, and from what I have been able to tell, most others also wear whatever they wore to work (i.e. dress is pretty much vanilla). Nudity is not permitted. Conversation, like at a munch, runs from the kinky to what-happened-at-work-today to whatever over drinks from the bar. About midway through the event, there is usually an educational session. That occurs in the back of the venue. One particularly interesting session was an introduction to knife play, where we learned about the basics of knife play, such as how to clean/sanitize knives, how to get to know and become comfortable with a knife before playing with it, a good beginner’s knife, etc. Then there is also a light play element, as people are allowed to engage in kinky play (as long as everyone stays covered) in the back of the venue (see photo). Not bad.

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Duct tape…

While my friend Hope and I were shopping for pervertables, we also went shopping for stuff that would be used more immediately. Specifically, we went to Target and got four rolls of duct tape – two red, and two black. At a few bucks per roll, I could handle that.

After we finished shopping, we made a quick stop at each of our respective houses for our bags of stuff, and then we headed over to DCDungeon.

For those not familiar, DCDungeon is based in what is otherwise a photography studio on Lewis Avenue in Rockville, Maryland within walking distance of Twinbrook station on the Red Line. This was my first time going. Right off the bat, something felt good about this place, unlike at The Crucible. Like The Crucible, DCDungeon sells memberships. However, unlike The Crucible, DCDungeon doesn’t require memberships to get in the door. At DCDungeon, the member admission price is $10. Non-members pay $20 to get in. However, to join also costs $20, and that same $20 also gets you in the door to play. Thus it seemed like a no-brainer: join. So I did.

The scene that Hope and I did was awesome. Knowing that I would be wrapped up in duct tape, I changed into a thong ahead of this. It made sense: not going to ruin any clothes with duct tape goop, and at the same time, I wouldn’t get tape on any hair around sensitive areas. Still, it was an odd feeling to change into that and then be seen by others.

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