I am proudly autistic, asexual, and kinky.

I was recently listening to a Stuff Mom Never Told You podcast about BDSM, and one topic that was discussed was safewords.  Among other things, the presenters characterized safewords as being less important than you might think that they otherwise might be.  That struck a chord with me.  In past experiences with BDSM education, it was always said that safewords were necessary because “no” or “stop” in a scene might not always mean what they mean on the street, depending on the context of the scene.  While this is true, it’s not always the case.

In my own scenes, I typically do not employ a safeword.  The reasoning is simple enough: if a scene is becoming too much, or something needs to be adjusted, we typically just say so.  But because of what I had learned both online and at various events about the necessity of having a safeword, I had always assumed that I was being a bit irresponsible by not having one, even though speaking in plain language instead of using a safeword worked.  With my girlfriend, we speak in plain language about how the other is doing in the scene.  When one of us is gagged, we speak through the gag to communicate.  However, if the top really can’t understand the different variations of “arglbargl” that are produced with the gag, we take the gag out to help facilitate communication.  Using plain language makes enough sense to me, and helps keep a certain playful mood about it, since in the end, it’s really just two people having fun together, and not a theatrical production or anything like that.  If we need to adjust the scene to ensure that everyone keeps having fun, we just say so.

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When I became Jennifer to show off the back bedroom in the previous post, it was also something of a play session with a friend.  This was my first time getting tied up in far too long, and my first time doing so as Jennifer.  I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do with the photo for the previous post, and was considering using multiple photos, so we did a lot of different poses.  I ended up using only one photo, because the post focused on hardware, and Jennifer was really only there for eye candy.  To use multiple photos of a model in various poses in a post about housing and other hardware would have made for a major tangent.

So here are the various other poses, starting with holding the spoon:

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My, what a year it’s been.  Since last we spoke, I bought and furnished a townhouse in the Maryland suburbs of Washington DC.  It has four levels, which means plenty of space for my girlfriend and me.  We each have our own bedrooms, with my bed in the master suite, and her bed in the finished basement.  That meant that the spare bedroom was upstairs, and thus, my dungeon is in an upstairs bedroom.  In my last post a year ago, I remarked, “After all, I could have a dungeon in an upstairs bedroom, but it wouldn’t be the same.”  Funny how things work out, as the play space ended up going upstairs.  But I think that an upstairs dungeon will work out pretty well, because the room has lots of other desirable features.

Here’s the room as it stands now, with Jennifer modeling:

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Lately, I’ve been looking for a house, in order to get more room to move around, and finally own a place rather than renting.  Build some equity and make a living space that is all my own.  And one of the things that I have grown to dislike about my current place – a one-bedroom apartment – is that I have no place for play.  Basically, there’s the living room, which is right next to the vestibule, i.e. where the neighbors can hear you moan, and there’s the bedroom, which I don’t like having to straighten back up right before bed.  And no place to keep proper dungeon furniture.

Having lived in the same one-bedroom apartment for nearly a decade at this point, I am ready to move on and up.  I’m looking for a bigger house, preferably with an upstairs, a downstairs, and a basement.  Thus I would have my sleeping space, a place for vanilla entertaining, and a dungeon that I can fit out with proper dungeon furniture.  That way, I can have my kinky friends over the house for private play parties, plus have a place to go with the girlfriend for kinky time.

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I don’t get nearly enough opportunities as I would like to go out as Jennifer.  Thus far, I’ve gone out as Jennifer four times: twice at BDSM events last year, once in June for photos at Pen Mar Park, and most recently, once in Washington DC on Halloween.  For this most recent outing, I was really debating whether I wanted to go out as Jennifer on Halloween, because I’ve always contended that Jennifer is not a “costume” similar to the way people dress up on Halloween.  This is an expression of a different side of my personality, and runs far deeper than merely dressing up.  Ultimately, I decided to go for it, because I had the night off of work, and I figured that this would be as good of an opportunity as any.  I went with a very close friend and play partner, and our original plan was to walk around the Tidal Basin near the National Mall, and visit the Jefferson, Roosevelt, and Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorials.  The way I figured, this would be a nice, pleasant walk around the memorials, and I get some more time as Jennifer.  Plus I could rock my purse, which I had not done before.

Getting down to the Mall, we decided to go into East Potomac Park to make the change.  My rationale was that the somewhat remote location of the park would provide me with additional cover to make the change.  However, the more remote location also meant something unexpected: critters.  East Potomac Park had raccoons running through it at night.  My friend even found one in the ladies’ restroom – eek!  We didn’t linger in the restroom, because critters, so I ended up changing in the car, and then drove to another parking lot closer to the Jefferson Memorial.  There, the hood on the zentai went up, and my transformation into Jennifer was complete.  Jennifer wore a teal-colored dress with knockoff Ugg boots (“Fuggs” as I call them) from Payless.  Definitely a fashion plate.

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The fork and spoon are now complete:

Front side

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I was recently at a Spencer’s store with a friend who is also in the scene, and we looked at the section in the back that sells more adult-oriented items.  For those not familiar, Spencer’s is a mall store that sells mostly joke gifts and such, and generally, the further back in the store you go, the less “family-friendly” the store gets, with “PG-rated” stuff in front, going through “PG-13” to “R” to “NC-17” as you get to the back where the sex toys are.  For the most part, if you’re over 30, you are probably too mature for Spencer’s.  I’m still surprised that there’s a mall store that sells actual sex toys in the first place, even if they are basically junk, but there you go, I suppose.

However, the phrase, “there’s a sucker born every minute” definitely applies here.  Check this out:

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Sometimes, you never know what you’re going to find when you go thrift store shopping.  I remember when I first found that large tiki spoon at a thrift store in Silver Spring.  Now, I found some more “silverware” at a thrift store in Calverton.  Check these out:

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I finally got some photos of my “Jennifer” persona for you to see.  It took a lot longer than I wanted to schedule an opportunity to do these, but I suppose that good things take time.  I could have done this a lot more quickly, but I didn’t want to do them at the house, out of concern that someone might recognize my decor from other Internet projects.  Since this shoot was to be “vanilla” in nature, my friend and I went up to Pen Mar Park in Washington County, Maryland and did the photos in the great outdoors.

As per usual, Jennifer is created by putting on a bra, adding breasts made from rice (I am eventually going to replace those with silicone, but rice works for now), and then adding a skintone zentai over it.  The wig and the (embarrassingly cheap) jewelry are also standard for Jennifer.

We did the shoot using two different outfits.  The first outfit was a navy blue sheath-style dress with a tan sweater and tan sandals, which we shot against a wooded backdrop:

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Back at the beginning of September, Jennifer, my feminine persona, made her debut at a private play party.  As Jennifer, I wore a navy blue sheath dress from Old Navy, along with the other effects that turn me into Jennifer, i.e. rice boobs, zentai, and wig.  Unfortunately, however, since I was still recovering from a broken bone in my foot about a month prior, I couldn’t wear proper footwear.  Therefore, rather than wear Jennifer’s shoes, I had to go with a pair of Crocs, since Jennifer’s shoes were too painful to wear with the injury still actively healing.  But hey, at least I didn’t have to wear a boot anymore.

Going out as Jennifer for the first time was kind of “eh”.  I knew the people that I was with, but I hadn’t been able to completely drop my inhibitions and relax.  I felt uptight, not quite knowing how to behave as Jennifer.  I mostly stood back and watched from the sidelines as others did their thing.  I think the biggest thing was becoming comfortable in Jennifer’s skin, and I suppose this first time was as good of a start as any.  However, I have a long way to go before I am really comfortable as Jennifer around others.  Becoming Jennifer at home is one thing, since I live by myself, and I’m just walking around the house feeling the fabric against my skin, and trying to walk convincingly in heels.  Being Jennifer in front of others is an entirely different matter.

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